Wednesday, July 7, 2010

A weekend well wasted...

So it's two weeks until the end of the think that would be motivation enough to get things done, not so much. This past weekend was fourth of July weekend so I had a three day weekend! I was so excited that I must have forgotten to study and/or read anything for the coming week. Now I know what you are are thinking, "why didn't you study?" and my answer would be so obvious...simply because I did not feel like it. Honesty is always the best policy. So now I can honestly say that I regret that decision, I have a ten page paper to start, a philosophy test to study for and a mountain of reading to do. Fail. I did manage to get some reading done at work today, but not nearly enough. I have to get cracking on this history paper. I have no desire to research it and even less desire to work on it but I have a preliminary draft due on Monday so I have to at least write something.

Senioritis is killing me, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, graduation is coming. It really is, I will petition to graduate in just a few months, it is weird but totally awesome. I was hoping to get to a 3.5 GPA before I graduated but I am just not sure that is going to happen, I pretty much need to make straight A's for the next two semesters and mostly A's this summer. I really have to bust my butt in order to reach that goal. I am going to keep trying, so we'll see what happens!

Meanwhile, these next two weeks will be busier than ever because my personal life is just as busy, especially things at church. It is a constant struggle to keep all the balls you are juggling in the air. That's what people never prepare you for in high school. It is constant battle of compartmentalizing your entire life. You can never focus on one thing at a time because there is always the "white noise" of other things going on in your life. I find myself struggling with this right now. I like to think that I can multitask and focus on a lot of things at one time, when in reality I cannot, school runs my life. When I am not at school I am thinking, talking or planning for school. That is one thing that I will not miss.

I am trying to figure out what I am going to do when I graduate in just a few months. It seems so far away but I know that it is looming in the background. It is a BIG, FAT, DREADFUL question mark hovering in the background, constantly begging the question, "What are you going to do next?" I do not have an answer, and that's the scariest thing about being a senior. You think it would be something that motivates you at all times, but mostly it just scares the hell out of you. For now I guess I will go back to my unread philosophy essays. Boo.

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